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I have been sad and dejected a lot of times for a lot of reasons, but never did i learn any thing from it. but this time, i feel it was different. It was big, bigger than any of the earlier issues and i did learn from it. i learnt why to stay positive, and that doing that is not easy. i learnt that it(life) is only going to get worse so theres no point holding on to whats gone. i learnt to not give up before trying, i learnt to take care of myself, i learnt what to do with my woes when theres no one to talk to and so mch more. Not that i didnt know any of this earlier but i didnt care to take notice when people told me so and for some reason all of it makes sense now, more than ever. i guess you dont learn such things in classrooms or at home when your parents lecture you on how to deal with things or any where else, it just comes from within when it has to.

hard realities

 

Long time. A lot of backlog that needs to be poured out. But today was the worst.

had a good beginning. Studied well as I had planned. Met up with someone, which wasn’t a part of the plan, just happened. But I wish it hadn’t. No one else’s fault, but it is just not easy to take the fact that other people are doing better than you. They do well for themselves and have good experiences and you are not even close to it. And that is not all, I feel horrible for thinking that way. And when the two things add up, its not a good feeling. That is not how I want it to be. I feel, the least I can do is be a nice person and be happy for my own friends and not pity myself. But, unfortunately, all you believe in is not all you do. And now, I only hope that I am not the only one of this kind.

learn to live and live to learn

education never stops!! some one once told me “i bet you learnt much more outside you class rooms than inside them, attending lectures”. it was then that the thought first struck me and I realised how true that was.i actually dont give a damn to what i had studied in the classroom sessions back at college but every single thing that i did with my freinds, all the team work, all the society things are as clear as it happened just yesterday. all the turbulence had some thing to teach. even now when i am not technically studying, and i have been sitting at home for months now, i dont feel i hv wasted my time completely, infact everyday has a new lesson to teach, about me, about ways of life, about everything around me. i feel, no matter how old you grow, you will always be a student of life.

realisation

everyone is not the same.well, thats not my realisation.its a fact! newy, it just occured to me how easy it would  be to live if you could accept yourself as wat you are. even if you are not as smart as the other person or you are not as well versed or you are not earning as much, it does not affect your life in any way unless you let it. to quote one f my frenz “hw difficult could it be to be happy?!”. to this i would say,it can get quite difficult at times. our insecurities always win over our better senses. the best thing would be to just break out of your inhibitions and strt living for yourself. if you do not get bothered by what other people have to say about you, things start looking good.. as long as you r happy, you r nt answerable to ne one.. its all in our mind. to be happy or not to be. to be satisfied with what we have or not to be. to live for other people or to live for ourself ! I would love it if i could do it as easily as i realised it. bt an effort will never go in vain..

Muddle of thots!

As i sit down in front of my comp, my mind is swaying from one thot to another..like i am an absconded criminal trying to plan my next move.its a complete mess. there are a thousand thots fighting amongst themselves to get my attention. but im not able to prioritise. phew! and as im riting al this i realize hw important it is to keep my mind in control nd hw helpful it would if i could take care of just one thing at a tym.that would relieve me of all the unnecessary stress and discomfort.so i think. but easy said than done, i can jst be hopeful that next tym wen i sit down to post sumthing my mind doesnt ditch me again..

till then

beginning

its always awkward to start something new ,till you get used to it. This would be my first attempt to write anything ever except for the english exams back at school.but this one s not weird coz i wont get marked on it. yippee!! ; )